Putting my own twist on something

    We'll just tonight actually I was reading something that really something that really hit home for me and hopefully she wont mind me putting my own twist on it. here is the link to her post you should definitely read it. lemmonythings.wordpress.com  

     As many of you know i have been suffering non stop pain for the past almost 3 years now. It has been a rough ride for me. I have spent many night laying in my bed just wondering when all of this will be over or if it'll ever be over, any normal person would if they were in my shoes, but then again if anyone  were in my shoes i think they would fall at the first step. 

   Ive hit those low points where i just am tired and just cry and just beg God to tell me why it had to be me to go through all this. Why should I keep having to put one foot in front of the other when all I want to do is sit down and cry? Sometimes at night I have horrible nightmares of Ohio, I get phantom pain in my face and head from all the surgeries. I wake up drenched in sweat, because i cant wake up from those nightmares no matter how hard I try I just have to wait for them to be over. 

   

   In this post that I read most recently it said God will give you more than you can handle I guarantee it.   At first i was like what the crap no he wont. but then as I started reading it really hit home for me. It talks about how he gave you so much because we have to learn to turn to God and give our burden to him. I know that I try to do this by myself sometimes, I'm a little bit prideful with that. but we have to turn everything to The Lord. One of my favorite artist David Bowman created two of my favorite drawings called "My child" and "Peace" in both of these pictures it shows christ comforting a young woman I like to think that young woman is me because no matter what I am going through he is going to be there helping me get through it.

 

   Just recently I was talking well more like venting to one of my really close friends. I had been having a really bad day and i just feeling tired and done. She said something that really affected me, she said something along the lines of you probably took this because you couldn't stand to see one of your brothers or sisters to go through it. And that probably is what happened and i said something really stupid i said well what kind of idiot would choose that?! But now that I have had the chance to think it over some more I realized that that was probably true. I have to be grateful that I don't have to see one of my friends go through this, I think it would kill me to see someone else go what i am going through right now. 

  I encourage you guys to read the other post it is really good. And I'm so grateful for my friends who help me through it by the hugs and uplifting text and everything else. I'm especially grateful for my close friend don't know what I would do without her. But I think one of the greatest people to be grateful for is Christ he wants us to put our burden on him, he wants to be able to help us we all have to let him. I know I have a little bit of a hard time with it but I'm trying to be better! Well its getting late and i have to get all the rest I can, i have the flu on top of all of this other crap. joy! Thanks for reading and have a good night!

Here is the website for the other post and it's called, God will give you more than you can handle: I guarantee it. 

www.lemmonythings.wordpress.com 

The holidays have only begun

  Today starts the day of all my family coming for Christmas! First arrival is my sister from Minnesota Ali with her two little boys! So excited to see them! Then Jami is coming down from up north. Tomorrow is what really is exciting though! My sister is coming home from her mission!!! 18 months have sure flown by and I'm so excited to pick her up! She arrives at the St. George airport at 5:51 countdown is going on the phone:) needless to say I'm excited to see my family, it gets lonely being the only one here. 

  But what is Christmas really about? Yeah we know it's about Christ but do we remember that as we spend tons of money on buying Christmas presents? 

Do we remember the sacrifice as we wrap each present and wait for Christmas to come ever nearer? Yes I admit I don't always remember what Christmas is all about but in church we read the story of the candy cane. The hook is the shepherds crook then if you turn it upside down it look like a J representing Jesus. The red stripes represent the suffering and bleeding that he did for us on the cross. The white represent the cleansing that he went through in order to be resurrected. 

We all have to remember what Christmas is really about and why we celebrate it. Think about the Saviour and what he has done for you this Christmas season. Write down a list of everything you are grateful for that has happened this past year. It's hard but so worth it! 

Merry Christmas and happy New Years! 

Royalty and other adventures!

  So royalty! In short the assembly went great! It was so much fun! Then the dance was so much fun! And then crowning! I won!! And my friend Cameron roos won also! It was so much fun but I'm glad it over! It was really fun well it lasted! 

   Great news though! We found the problem to all my pain!! I have a syst in my face where my ear canal should be! It's in the soft tissue so that explains why it wasn't in the bone! So this past Friday I had a test done to see if it's operable or whatever. And the syst is a lot bigger then we thought so the operation is an option but we want to try this thing where they shoot some medication into it so it shrinks and heals on itself. So that my great news! The operation is such a dangerous one that we want to try this medication stuff first and if this doesn't work then we do operation. 

  Happy holidays! It's about to get crazy this next two weeks. I'm already horrible at writing regularly but I'll be really horrible with the holidays coming. Which means family! Oh my sister gets home from her mission in 9 days!! I'm getting so excited! Well I gotta pack for my choir tour! So I'll sign off! Thanks for reading and happy holidays!! 

Me and my date Caleb for senior ball! 

It's been a while!

Well it's almost thanksgiving time and I've been horrible about posting! So sorry about that!

Since last time a wrote a lot has happened!  My infection is still here. Very painful. We are going up a couple of days before thanksgiving to slc to wt more test done and that crap! 

Then a lot of good things have happens!! I got asked to senior ball royalty by one of my friends I'm so stoked! It's this coming Saturday actually! Man crazy! 

Then just this week on Monday I was woken up at five and I was told it took me a while to wake me up...  I'm a dead sleeper nothing can wake me up! But anywas back to the reason I was woken up! The exec girls came and kidnapped me for senior ball royalty! So that was fun and that assembly will be this Thursday. So I'm a little bit busy this week. 

But life has been hard with the infection coming back and all. Seriously wish someone had the answers! And I know Heavenly Father does but I want them right now! So that's frustrating but other than that crap life has been great! 

Ill honestly try to be better about writing I just haven't been feeling good at all with the infection and I've been super busy! But I'll be better! Well yeah short post sorry bout that. Feel like it should be longer but I really don't have anything else to say! 

 I'll leave it here! 

Night everyone!!

My favorite ears and my favorite earrings that my football team gave me!

Tooth pull and the definition of extraordinary to me

                                   So since last time I updated a lot has happened!
So last weekend as you know I went up north and had doctors appointments! Joy don't you just love them docs? Well anyways so well we were up there they found infection. THE WORST POSSIBLE THING EVER!!!! I was not happy so we decided if we want to got the implant rout then we have to get rid of this infection and the only way to do that was to pull a tooth. Bam as soon as we got home we were hitting the ground sprinting getting from one doc to the next. Oh and during this whole time my face pain was starting to flare up thus the explanation for the whole trip. When ever I get face pain we never like to take a chance so we always get right on top of it. That's one good thing i guess from the infection! We get to spend plenty of time with the fam bam!
     Like I said as soon as we got home we were calling doctors to see what we could do about this infection; what antibiotics and other stuff that I needed to be taking, oh the joys! But the doctors concluded that the infection was lingering above a tooth and the only way to get rid of it was to pull the tooth. That's a big deal when it comes to that why? Because I already have so little bone in my face from my syndrome and its mostly around my teeth. So anytime we pull a tooth its like we are pulling bone out of my face. Dangerous. But alas there was nothing else to do but to pull the tooth if I wanted to get rid of my pain and enjoy myself for my Sadie's dance tomorrow! (girls ask boys dance) ( I have the best date ever might I add ;))
    Today was tooth extraction day! they put me out for it. I don't do well with any type of procedures so its better that way... Everything went good and now we just wait and see how it all turns out! Kinda nerve racking but it'll be okay:)
    The one topic I want to hit on tonight is: EXTRAORDINARY
 I have been called this numerous times. I don't mind being called it but honestly I'm not. We are all extraordinary in our own ways, yeah Ive had to deal with a ton of stuff at my young age but I don't get through it easily. Ive had my fair share of tears and fears. Yeah I fight through it but honestly its hard! Life isn't easy but we all have to fight through it:) as the wise Albus Dumbledore once said," It isn't our abilities that make us who we are but our choices". Its getting late and I'm not feeling the greatest so I think I will end on that! Remember we are all extraordinary in our own ways! thanks guys for reading!
Night!
  

Doctor update

  Well it's UEA hers aka fall break so what do we decide to do? Go visit some good'ol doctors in SLC. Not what I had in mind but hey, we all gotta do things we don't like. 

  Thursday we saw four doctors two of them were for my mouth stuff and the other two were for my new hearing aid. The mouth ones were kinda crazy. The first one we went to Dr. Lee wasn't very positive and kept saying we needed to go to a team out in California. Not that I had anything against Cali but I've worked through a team of doctors twice now and  neither times did it work. So he wasn't very helpful. My mom didn't like him that much either. However the second doctor was very good! He said if we wanted to get my teeth. Closer together that he could maybe pull out a couple of teeth because for every tooth that you pull supposedly three more teeth meet together. So he could build up some teeth with prosthetics then add some fake teeth. They wouldn't be a perfect match and it would take a long time. But right now it's looking like the best solution so he is going to take a look at my x-rays and talk to some other doctors and see if in the end this is the best solution! I sure hope it is cause I want to get this problem solved once and for all!! Love coming up north but when it's for a doctors weekend which most I the time it is then it's not that fun. 

    Oh I got a second BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) on the left side not so I have surround sound hearing! It's gonna take a lot of time to get use to it though. It's been giving me a horrible headache these past couple of days. But it makes sense because I've only heard sound from the right side never from the left. So I have to retrain my brain so it figures out that I can hear from both sides. They said it could take up to a year! Hopefully it doesn't take that long! We shall see though! 

  Hey it's getting a bit late and I gotta get up pretty early tomorrow!! Man I can't wait for day light savings!!

Night guys!!

It's been a while!

   Well life has been crazy busy so I really haven't had the time to update! Life is fun but like I said crazy busy! 

  Last weekend my girlfriends and I drove up north for General Confrence (worldwide lds meeting) it was such a awesome experience! Crazy driving around SLC, getting lost, eating at Cheesecake Factory and getting to hear the gospel from amazing examples in my life! I've had bad withdrawls from Salt Lake City ever since them but good thing is I'm going back up this weekend for some appointments! Not really happy to hit he doctors but hey I gotta do what I gotta do! 

  Oh quick medical update! So the next surgery that we were planning on doing, kind of our last hope fell through. We were going to do a prothesic jaw surgery which means they would have replaced my whole lower jaw with a fake one. But come to find out I have so little bone to even attach it to that it wouldn't work. So now we are a loss of what to do. Kinda of disappointing but I guess it's for the better! 

   On a brighter note my cat Katniss is pregnant and due to give birth anyday now!! Getting exciting! Any wait to see those little things! She's getting pretty uncomfortable at the moment so I've been holding her a lot and trying to help her. 

Me and her cuddling love this little rascal! Well I gotta go I have a church meeting that I have to go to! Thanks for all the support you given me!